Monday 23 January 2017

psychotherapy - Technique or Profession?

I don't know when it became such common practice, but somehow the go-to solution for any and all problems that could plague a marriage (separation, loss of passion, divorce, infidelity, lack of communication, etc.), the most prominent and widely advice that you're going to get is "have you tried marriage counseling?"

You would think that such a booming and reputable industry would be so highly recommended because of its high success rate, right? In other words, marriage counseling is so popular because it has a history of legitimately fixing the marriage problems that plague so many relationships these days, right?

Wrong!

Did you know that.

Marriage Counseling has the Highest Failure Rate of Any Therapy

Yup, marriage counseling and marriage counselors have the lowest success rate of any other counseling or therapy related field.

So, does marriage counseling work? I would say 'not even close'.

* Drug addicts in rehab have a higher success rate than marriage counselors
* Alcoholics in AA have a higher success rate than marriage counselors
* Anger management therapy has a higher success rate than marriage counselors
* Even the prison counseling programs for murderers, rapists and other criminals have a higher success rate than marriage counseling

Marriage counseling DOES NOT WORK for most couples, and marriage counseling success rates are surprisingly low (less than 25%).

There is a type of couple that can benefit from marriage and family counseling, but it is the exception, not the rule. Most marriage counselors don't effectively address the true issues that are leaving you and your wife 'unfulfilled in our marriage'.

Does Marriage Counseling Work? Do We Have the Highest Divorce Rates, Ever?

Admittedly, according to recent statistics, the divorce rate in America has finally come to somewhat of a plateau in the past couple years because less people are getting married, so there are less couples to divorce.

But still, in the past 10 - 25 years divorce rates have sky rocketed, and I want you to really think about this for a minute... Doesn't it seem strange that the rise in divorce rates correlates almost directly with the thriving marriage counseling industry? Some might argue that this makes sense because more divorces need more marriage counseling, but what if the true source of the problem wasn't actually divorce, but the total ineffectiveness, even counter-productivity, of marriage counseling?

I'll tell you an example of this - My own parents are divorced. They were married for over 20 years, and they tried everything in the book to save their marriage. They tried not one, not two, not three, not four, but FIVE different marriage counselors over the course of 10 YEARS, and not a single one of them did anything to save their marriage.

In fact, the marriage only ever got worse because my parents became frustrated with their lack of progress, and that frustration led to even more problems in the marriage.

In other words, marriage counseling added fuel to the fire, and it poisoned my parents' marriage.

Now, I'm not saying that all marriage counselors are complete quacks, but a surprising amount of them are. Their marriage counseling methods and techniques are based on theory, conjecture and textbooks, not actual romantic or human experience or even on successful marriages.

Many Marriage Therapists Lack Proven or Relevant Experience

This could probably be said about many therapy related fields, but I feel that it is especially true in marriage counseling. I know of multiple marriage counselors who have actually gone through a divorce, but continue to teach others how to fix their marriage. Clearly these people have no idea what actually works if they can't even save their own marriage, so why would you trust them to save yours?

Again, I don't want to make any overly broad generalizations here, but I do feel like the marriage counseling field has become equivalent with divorce attorneys.It's just one more cog in the machine leading to the simultaneous degradation and capitalization of marriage in America. I mean, from a price standpoint they're both expensiveThese are people that know you're desperate and are willing to take advantage of that are their own gain.

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